On our next to last day of this #MotherhoodSeries, I would like for you to get to know my friend Jennifer Meyers. Jennifer is the wife to John and mom to Mackenzie and Noah. Jennifer keeps busy by working, spending time with family, and being actively involved at our church in so many ways. I hope you are encouraged as much I was by Jennifer’s words!
When you ask what it means to me to be a mom, a million things go through my mind. There is no way to express every single little thing, nor does MaeLee have that much room available for the blog. But I can tell you this:
It’s hard. Really hard. Being a mom is absolutely positively the most difficult thing I have ever done (and will continue to do, Lord willing) in my entire life. There is not a “how to” class that exists on the face of the earth that can fully prepare anyone for being a mom. There are more days than I care to count when I feel like a complete failure as a mom for one reason or another. There are days when I wonder if God really designed me to be a mom. There are so many things that I struggle with. I don’t do teeth. I am not good with blood. I am not good with vomit. I am not a very patient person. I struggle with the fact that I work full time outside of the home and right now drive about an 1 hr 15-20 min to work and then home again which adds up to almost an extra 3 hours away from my family each Monday through Friday. I struggle with the comparison game. I struggle with ball field dirt on my floor. I struggle with trying to be everything to everybody and it’s not gonna happen. I struggle with the fact that there is not enough time in the day to get everything done that I think needs to get done to take care of my family. I still struggle with selfishness sometimes. In fact, I never knew how selfish I was until I had children. Sad to say it that way, but it’s true. There are so many things that you sacrifice as a mom for your kids. Lots and lots of time. And plenty of sleep deprivation. Lots and lots of sleep deprivation actually (I really like, I mean need my sleep). The list is never ending. But they (children) are worth it. I struggle with sassiness from the almost tween child. I struggle with the child who may not always have a good self-esteem. Being a mom can be heartbreaking. The first time I trimmed my daughters fingernails, I cut too much and made her little baby finger bleed. She cried, I cried. It broke my heart that she was hurting. It still breaks my heart when either of my children are hurting. I want to fix it. When they are sick, I want them to be better. When something is difficult for them, I want it to be easy. Knowing when to step in and help and when to let them learn by trial and error is tough. Being a mom is scary. My son had nosebleeds a lot when he was younger. One morning when I was getting him up (he was about 2-3 yrs old), he was covered in blood. His whole face, sheets, pajamas. Blood was everywhere. Needless to say I freaked out. He was fine though. Are you getting the picture? Being a mom is really really hard and I barely touched the surface of the difficulty list.
Being a mom is rewarding. Despite all the difficulties, my kids are forgiving. When I mess up, they love me anyway. They love me in spite of all the selfish imperfections that exist in my mind. They don’t see them. I love the random “I love you mom”. I love the “just one more hug”. I love that my son still wants me to tuck him in bed at night. I love holding hands with my kids. I love that my daughter is my “mini me”. I love the fact that the first time I watched the movie Mom’s Night Out was with my kids cuddling on the couch with me laughing so hard I cried. I love praying with them. I love their hearts. I love the personalities that they have (even if they sometimes drive me crazy). I love that my daughter loves to read like I do. I loved seeing them learn to walk and talk. I loved seeing them start the learning process in preschool. I love seeing the accomplishments that they are making in school. I love seeing them play Upward Basketball, softball, baseball, doing gymnastics. I love being there and being one of their biggest cheerleaders. I love knowing that they need me. It is humbling to know that two little lives that I am pouring into are able to teach me lessons that I never knew I needed to learn. I love seeing them learn about Jesus. I love hearing them say Bible verses from memory. I love singing Jesus music in the car with them.
Being a mom is an awesome responsibility. I mean, think about it. God chose me, me of all people, to be the mother of two kids. I was able to experience the miracle of carrying a baby for 9 months and delivering a little human being into this world. I get to share the task of raising two kids with my husband. We are the temporary caretakers of two amazing kids. We bear the responsibility of raising them to know and serve God. To share Jesus with those around them. God is awesome. He doesn’t make mistakes. God knows how I feel each and every day. He knows the struggles I have as a mother. He knows my weaknesses. But somehow, by God’s grace, each day He gives me what I need for that day. And each day, I have to go back to God and seek Him and His wisdom to prepare me to raise the little lives that He has chosen to bless me with. And God was so wonderful and gracious to bless me with a husband who is right there every step of the way and goes above and beyond when I am not able to. God knew what He was doing when He gave me John. For some reading this, a husband may not be in the picture for whatever reason. But God is. God is sufficient. When I am not (which is a lot), He is. I hear Him say to me, “I AM.” End of story. Just as my kids depend on me as a mom, I have to depend on God. There is no other way.
“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a